Losing Her

As of 9:20 this morning when I woke up, while blinking off the tears in my eyes I realized:  I just had the worst nightmare I ever had and will ever have. 

I was in a train station with my sister and 2 other friends. It was a big train station. It seems like a small mall to me because there are restaurants inside and I vaguely remember that you can re-bond your hair while riding the escalator. There's a lot of escalators and elevators we passed till we reached the overpass on the road. That's where my nightmare started. I was talking with my friend, so my sister was with my other friend at our back. We crossed the road, but because a lot of cars are passing only 2 of us (my friend and I) were able to cross the road. So we waited for our other companies on the other side. But when I looked back I can’t see my sister. So when the lot across us can now pass over the road I was still searching for her but she's gone. So I asked my friend where my sister was and she was shocked as well that my sister wasn't with her. So I texted her 'San kna' But because I have a bad feeling about it we went back to the train station and started looking for her. We started looking to the place where I remember my dream started, and that was us hopping off the train. So we asked strangers passing by if they saw my sister. Negative. And we were having bad thoughts about this particular man on the overpass, what if he's part of a sindikato or whatever. 

I had this feeling that someone took her for a bad reason and I don't want to think what those reasons are. Crimes on TV's and in newspapers kept popping on my mind and I was so scared for my sister. The worst part is my friends don’t care. They're just helping me look for her because I'm their friend, but they were not concern. 

I was really losing hope in finding her. And I told myself I am not going anywhere till I find her. I have a feeling the bad guy kept their victims in the train station. Somewhere behind those doors is my sister, alone and scared. And in that moment, I felt alone and scared too. 

When we were in the escalator again, my friends were distracted on the restaurants and that pissed me off. How can they not care at all. But I can't get angry because all I want is to find my sister. So I walked in one of the restaurant and found a large spoon. As in it's so large it looked like a big shovel already. I was looking at it and thinking, if it has to come to the point where I'll use this to hit anyone just to save my sister, I will. I kept it in my bag (I don't how it fitted) I sat at the top of the stairs and texted my sister again 'UWI NA TAYO' but there's still no reply so I started crying. I was crying so hard my friends are looking at me and started comforting me, my uncle was also there, but his laughing and my gramma looked at him and he stopped. As of it's a big joke for him and nobody cared. It's just me. Only I cared. I was helpless, hopeless, scared, and alone.

Then I realized I was dreaming and I forced myself to wake up. And I did. As my dream sunk in to me, tears started streaming down my face. I maybe out of that shitty dream already but the emotions stayed. I looked at my sleeping sister and hell I was so relieved she was sleeping at my side. But I'm still crying. I can't help it. I don't want her to hear my crying so I went to the bathroom and cried like a baby. 

What the fuck is that dream? I remembered something form the movie Inception: that you only remember the ending of your dream, where it all started is now a bubble that popped in your head. And then I recalled that that's not where my dream started at all. It kicked off with my grandparents can't longer pay our rent so we were packing our things and finally leaving the house, that's where the negative emotions came from, because I don't want to leave the house, our house. It's so weird! Then the train station scenario.

And it kept bumping my mind, what if this is Mom's punishment to me for not being nice with my sister. MOM! You did it okay, it scared me and I don't want that to happen for real. And I fucking hope this is not a premonition cause I swear I'll pick the most dangerous weapon than a shovel just to kill anyone who gets in my way. My sister is a bitch, that's a fact. But she's all I got (Yep Mom you proved that point already) and I maybe the worst sister ever but I swear. The worst nightmare I ever had and will ever have is losing her. 

P.S. This is insane!!